In fifth grade, I dressed up as a toothpick for Halloween. Not a superhero, not a scary witch, no…I decided the wooden device you clean your teeth with was clearly more appropriate for the occasion.
Halloween costumes have always been something I’ve struggled with. It is difficult to achieve the balance between original and no one being able to tell what you are, i.e. a toothpick. Buying a costume out of the bag seems so boring. Really, what does it say? I’m a sucker that bought an overpriced outfit that doesn’t fit properly and I’ll never wear again. That’s what it says.
I once spent over a month customizing a store bought mermaid costume until it was barely recognizable. Had I been a little less terrified of the sewing machine, I probably would have attempted the whole thing by hand. I even hand braided a ‘seaweed’ boa complete with real shells…now that is what I call dedication. Did anyone else notice or appreciate my hard work? I’m not sure. But I couldn’t have been happier with or proud of my master piece.
One of my major disappointments growing up was the realization of what Halloween would become as an adult. It’s just one big excuse. Using children as an excuse to go trick or treating, an excuse for outlandish behavior at the bar and don’t even get me started on the excuse for girls to dress like hookers. You want to dress a little sexy, fine. But when there are women who get paid by the hour that look nicer than you do, it’s time to reconsider your costume.
A lot of people tell me, “It’s not the costume that matters - it’s being with your friends and the fun you have together”. I call bullshit. That’s like saying presents don’t matter at Christmas…tell that to the Three Wise Men.
As October 31st approaches I am once again at a loss of ideas. I want something original, at least partially homemade and appropriate to wear in public. Two weeks to go and so far I’ve got nothing. The pressure is building…I’m afraid if I don’t come up with something soon I’ll end up watching It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown at home alone while I stuff my face with bite size Snickers.
Maybe the toothpick thing wasn’t such a bad idea.